


Go and come back

by Nightsouls



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Break Up, Canon Compliant, Getting Back Together, Happy Ending, I'm sorry I was hurting, Light Angst, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Not that angsty... I think, minor manga spoilers, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-04
Updated: 2020-10-07
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:46:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 18,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25718296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nightsouls/pseuds/Nightsouls
Summary: The best day of Koutarou's professional life became the worst day of his private life. The day he got everything he wanted for his career was the day he lost the most important thing in his life.But time has passed and Koutarou has decided that he will do what it takes to bring a certain young editor back into his life, even if he seems determined to leave that part of his life behind.After all, when Koutarou sets mind into something, he doesn't give up easily.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou
Comments: 44
Kudos: 105





	1. He deserves better

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Ir y volver](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25576105) by [Nightsouls](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nightsouls/pseuds/Nightsouls). 



> So, my boyfriend left me after like three years being together. I wrote this to feel a little better, because I wanted to create a story completly different than mine, one that has a bad beginning but had a happy ending.  
>  I hope you enjoy it.
> 
> Also... English is my second language, so I have a few mistakes... hope that they are not to much... And well, this is a translation of the same same story but in spanish, don't worry I wrote that one also. So if you are spanish speakers, well I suggest you to read that one because I'm a spanish speaker and I think I get to express myself better in spanish.
> 
> UPDATE: A beautiful girl made a translation of this story to chinese! So if you are more comfortable with reading it in chinese, well... here is the link! ❤
> 
> Chinese translation available here: [Chinese translation](https://ashley040820.lofter.com/post/1fce2bff_1cab50923)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "We need to breakup".
> 
> The circular movements at his hand didn't stop, making Koutarou doubt if he had really spoken the words or if he had only thought about them. He felt that Keiji's free hand reach out for his left hand, taking it a few seconds later, and then beginning to make the circular movement on it as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story has three stages, this is the beginning of the problem, and well the happy ending will come at the chapter three, so please bear with me.  
>  Please, enjoy!
> 
> By the way, when I wrote this chapter, the song that I had in repeat all the time was "Don't speak" by No Doubt (one of my favorite bands). At first I didn't thought anything of it, but now that I think it, it kind of suits the chapter? If you wan't to give it a try, well here's the link.
> 
> [Don't Speak - No Doubt](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TR3Vdo5etCQ)

"Akaashi?" Koutarou felt his voice break as he said the last name of the boy before him. The raven haired boy lifted his eyes from his book so he could gave a surprised glance. And Koutaoru new why he was surprised, for more than four years they had been calling each other by their first names when they were alone.

"Did something happened, Kou?" asked the raven haired closing his book before leaving the armchair and sit next to him in the couch. As he used to do, the younger one reached out his hand so he could place Koutarou's atop his.

Koutarou found himself in the need of using all his willpower to withdraw his hand, Keiji frowned instantly, but recovered soon after. Koutarou new what that meant. Keiji found his attitude baffling, but he was maintaing his cool to avoid making him nervous, just like he wasn't noticing all the red flags.

He closed his eyes, wondering if it was really necessary to do what he had in mind.

Looking at Keiji sitting before him, just as any other day at their appartment was making him doubt.

"It's nothing, sorry," he muttered searching for something else to look, wishing that the man next to him believed his words.

"Kou, you never call me Akaashi when we are alone, what's happening?" Keiji's hand took his hand again, so then he could start drawing circles at the back of his hand with his thumb, just the way he always did to calm him.

He cursed himself for trying to back out, and at the same time thanked the fact that his boyfriend wasn't scared of uncomfortable situations.

Even if he had no idea about what was about to happen.

"We need to breakup".

The circular movements at his hand didn't stop, making Koutarou doubt if he had really spoken the words or if he had only thought about them. He felt that Keiji's free hand reach out for his left hand, taking it a few seconds later, and then beginning to make the circular movement on it as well.

"Why do we have to breakup, Koutarou?" asked Keiji, his voice calm as usual, calming him down a bit. Maybe Keiji had thought about breaking their relationship before, maybe Keiji just needed a little push to get him to do it. Despite the sudden calmness, a deep sadness wrapped his heart. Everything was going to end.

Gathering all his courage, he faced the black haired boy, regretting it instantly.

His deep ocean colored eyes, always shinning, lacked of any kind of light.

"I'm going pro," he finally answered, giving his best to maintain the eye contact with the editor's eyes. "The Black Jackals".

Keiji smiled, but his smile didn't reach his eyes, actually making it look like a kind of a grimace.

Koutarou thought it was a shame, since Keiji's smile had always been the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. He always thought that when he achieved his goal, Keiji's smile would be so beautiful that he would fear become blind for seeing it directly.

Although he could not really blame him, he didn't think he could smile at that moment.

"I understan, Koutarou...," replied inmediatly the younger, not releasing Koutarou's hands.

"I'm sorry, Akaashi".

Keiji shook his head, closing his eyes.

"Don't be sorry, this things happen sometimes," he muttered before releasing the elder one's hands, making Koutarou feeling quite cold. After a few seconds, which seemed an eternity for Koutarou, Keiji got up, opening his eyes and turning towards the corridor. "I guess I'll pick some stuff so I can leave..."

"You don't have to leave... I was thinking in leaving," muttered Koutarou, cursing himself for waiting until night to talk to his boyfriend, or rather exboyfriend, considering what they just talked about.

"No, it's better it I leave, this place is a bit far from my work, and the lease has your name," replied the raven haired boy without looking at him.

Koutarou felt annoyed with himself again, feeling relieved that Keiji was willing to leave the apartment to him. Because he knew he couldn't cope with so many sudden changes, because leaving behind his life with Keiji was too much for him, and leaving the apartment he loved so much would be another blow, one he wasn't sure he could bear.

"You don't have to leave right now, it's nighttime," he said waiting for Keiji to turn around and see him, without any succes. "Also, you have a lot of stuff here, you won't be able to take all with you in one..."

"I'll talk yo Kenma, probably he won't have any problem allowing me to stay at his place a few days," replied Keiji as he started to walk towards the bedroom that until a few moments ago had been theirs. "I will just take a few things for now, can I come back in the next days to pick up the rest?"

Koutarou found himself following the dark-haired man, feeling bewildered by the quickness of his actions.

"Akaashi, don't worry, I didn't say so that you could leave today, let's go to sleep, tomorrow you have to go to work,” he said as he watched how Keiji began to take his clothes out of the closet, putting them on the bed. "Tomorrow I will help you sort your things... and I will help you carry them..."

"Don't worry, Koutarou, it isn't necessary, I can come for them when you aren't here".

Koutarou felt some king of discomfort begin to grow in his chest. Why was Keiji acting as if it didn't affect him? Why did he seemed take it as if they were talking about who was going to cook dinner or who was going to set the table?

"Why are you trying to make this more difficult? Leave that, let's go to sleep and tomorrow when you come back from work we will start to get everything ready," said Koutarou frowning.

And for the first time since the dark haired boy had get up from the couch, he turned to see him, leaving him speechless. His eyes were glassy, with tears about to overfload them, and his lips had turned in a tight line that seemed to be trying to contain a sob. He probably noticed the effect he had made on Koutarou, since he turned his face again, continuing with his task of taking clothes out of the closet, without making a sound.

While the boy wrote a message, probably to Kenma, he went to the spare room looking for a suitcase, so Keiji could take his things. When he returned to the bedroom, the raven was folding his clothes.

"Thank you, Koutarou".

"Did Kenma answered?"

"He's comming".

"Do you want me to help you to gather other stuff? Pots? Books?"

The youngest shook his head and mouthed a negative, allowing the silver haired one to appreciate how his curls ended slightly messed up by the movement. He remembered how he usually asked Keiji to let his hair grow a little more, just enought so that his curls got a little more visible. Judging by the length of his hair, Keiji was a couple of days away from cutting out his hair.

"Will you work tomorrow?" asked the raven.

"Yeah, I will give my two weeks notice. Tho, probably I'll work a little more than those two weeks," answered Koutarou while he remembered that in two days he would go to the MSBY Black Jackals office to sign his contract.

"Will you still have your practice with the Elephants?"

Koutarou nodded slightly.

"Today I talked with the coach, officially I'm out of the team, but the guys want to make some farewell dinner, so tomorrow will be my last practice with them".

"I see, well then... I'll come tomorrow so I can take with me the rest of the stuff that I need, probably I won't see you," said Keiji while he closed his suitcase.

"You don't have to come while I'm out, you can come when I'm here so I can help you..."

"Is better this way, Koutarou," said the raven cutting him off.

"Hey, Akaashi," called Koutarou trying to catch Keiji's arm, but he editor seemed to sense his intentions, because a moment before the silver haired man could touch him, he moved his arms, making Koutarou scowl. "Hey, you don't need to act like that, we only breakup, it's not like we stop..."

"We didn't stop being what?" asked Keiji without lookig at him, taking his suitcase of the bed. "If you don't remember, we just stopped being all what we were".

"Not all, we can still be friends".

Keiji shrugged off before leaving the bedroom, obviosly avoiding Koutarou.

"I guess so".

Keiji pick up his laptop case and opened it, probably trying to check if everything was in it's place.

"Keiji, I wish we could continue being friends".

Keiji turned to see him again, this time letting the tears flow down his face.

"And I wish I could forget all about you, Koutarou".

The boy with the golden eyes froze in his place, watching Keiji pick up his phone and check it.

"Kenma is here. Goodbye, Koutarou".

And without fully understanding it, Koutarou was left alone in the apartment he had been sharing with Akaashi Keiji for two years, wondering if he had done the right thing.

.

"So he didn't give you a reason," Kenma muttered as he served Keiji a cup of tea.

Keiji thanked him with a short nod, inmediatly taking the cup so he could warm up his hands, which as usual were frozen. It had always been like that, if his hands weren't between Koutarou's, they gor pretty cold. He sighed, thinking that he would probably have to get used to the fact that his hands would be cold all the time.

"He got a call from the Black Jackals," he replied remembering how Bokuto had given him the news of his start in the world of professional volleyball that same night, while breaking his heart.

"So pro volleyball players can't have a relationship?" The question had been asked without any hint of malice, Kenma's voice had been as calm as usual, but Akaashi knew that deep down, there was some poison dripping in it.

So he just shrugged and closed his eyes.

"I guess he doesn't want that his sexuallity become the first big news about him".

Kenma nodded before sipping his tea.

"If the media searches a little bit, soon they will find his past with you," Keiji found difficult not to wince as he heard Kenma speak of his relationship with Koutarou as a past thing. "This may end up being worse for your image".

And a part of him, one that he wasn't proud of, wished for a moment that it became true, that the initial image of Bokuto Koutarou in pro volleyball would be stained by the ghost of his four years relationship.

But most of him prayed that it didn't happen, prayed that the beginning of Koutarou's career was as shinning as him so everyone could see the star that he really was.

"We were always very private with our relationship".

"You were..."

Kenma didn't need to finish his sentence for Keiji to feel a twinge of pain. Keiji was always the cautious one, he was the one that reminded Koutarou that they were in public, he was the one that waited until they were at home to latch at him. Koutarou was the one that always tried to show off that they were together, the one that always tried to kiss him in a public place, the one that filled his friends' instagrams with pics of them.

Trying to not thinking about it twice, he opened the app, finding soon enough his exboyfriend's profile. From the 348 photos the had before, just 203 remained. He checked his highlights, finding out that all the collections that Koutarou dedicated to him were gone, remaining only the ones about food, places and obviously volleyball. He didn't dare to check if he still appeared in the remainng highlights, probably not. He opened his own profile and started hiding at the archive all the photos were the boy of golden eyes that had broken his heart appeared.

"Why you don't delete them?" Kenma asked after the sixth pic.

Keiji just shrugged while continuing his task. He didn't want to delete the proof of what he had lived with Koutaorou, he just wanted to put it in the past, where it belonged to. A part of him wanted to read the comments, the captions, wanted to remember the moments behind the photos. The other part, was screaming that he was an idiot for no deleting everything at once. After all he wanted to forget Koutarou, didn't he?

Now his profile had only 40 posts. His archive had 59.

He closed his eyes asking himself how difficult will be living without the guy that for seven years had meant everything to him.

.

"Come in," Koutarou said to the raven that was at the door.

"Damn, Akaashi and his books' mess is getting a little out of hand, right?" said Kuroo while toeing his shoes.

The silver haired man looked around, noticing that his exboyfriend's books where everywhere in the livingroom. There were a couple of thick volumes on the coffee table at the center, a few science fiction books on Keiji's old armchair, a poetry one on the couch. On the floor were about ten books, and the shelf was a mess, with holes in each level.

Koutarou closed his eyes and shook his head, remembering the note his former boyfriend left.

As he had said, the day after Keiji's departure, upon returning from work, Koutarou found the apartment a little emptier. All the dark haired man's clothes had disappeared, except for some sweaters that he was sure he had given him; and half of the department's books had disappeared, leaving only those that Koutarou had given him.

_"I have everything I need, don't worry, everything in here is yours"._

He reached into his pants pocket where his wallet was, where he had kept the note.

"Akaashi doesn't live here anymore," he muttered, gaining a surpriesed look from Kuroo. "We broke up".

"That's a joke, right?"

"Why would I joke with something like that?" Koutarou scowled.

"Cuz' it would be impossible for Akaashi to left you, so it has to be a joke," said Kuroo as he taked a seat at the couch, putting away some of the books that were resting there. "His books are here".  
Koutarou closed his eyes and took a heavy book from the coffee table, opening it to read the note he had written at the first page.

_"This book tells the stories of pirates and their adventures at the sea, and your eyes always remind me of the sea"._

"He left the books that I gave him," he muttered.

Without realizing it, he had started grabbing Keiji's books and placing them in the spots that the raven used to leave them when he read.

The first one he had taken had been the poetry one. He had taken it for a quick glance, searching the calmness that always seemed to envelop Keiji every time he read it. He had really tried, he had taken the book from the shelf, had sat in the armchair where Keiji used to sit, and had adopted the relaxed posture that the raven had while reading. He had run his fingers across the spine of the book as his ex-boyfriend had, had read the note he had written himself, and had tried to read the opening lines of the book's first poem.

He turned to look at the book, remembering the words written by him. "I'm sorry I forgot our date, but these poems talk about summer and the sea, and that's where I plan to take you." He had almost laughed when he saw what he had written three years ago in the little book, remembering that he had made a great effort to make it poetic. Now that he was reading it again, he had realized that he didn't succeeded.

And without realising it, taking that book had triggered a sort of new habit in him.

From time to time, he would take one of the books he had given Keiji, sit where he remembered seeing Keiji with the book, read the note he had written himself, and try to read the contents of the book. When Koutarou got tired of trying to read it, he would get up and leaving the book right there.

"What did you did?" The tallest man got up and walked to the fridge, taking two of the beers that the pro atlethe had bought moments ago. "If you cheated on him I swear to you..."

"I was the one who broke up with him," Bokuto said while leaving the book at the coffe table and taking out his wallet from his jeans.

"It's impossible that Akaashi cheated on you."

"There was no cheating!"

"Then why you left him?" After asking that, the raven turned to face him and gasped. "Is this why Kenma didn't come? When you called the Tuesday saying that you got something importanto to tell us, I called Kenma to ask him if he wanted a ride, but he said that the already knew what was happening and he would be busy".

"Akaashi said he would stay a couple of days at Kenma's, I guess he told him".

"So I'm the last one to know that my best friends broke up," Kuroo muttered. "Why you brokeup? You said you were the one to called it off... but you don't see like you are doing well, soo..."

Koutarou took the beer that his friend handed him.

"The Black Jackals called back".

This was not how he had imagined he would break the news of his entry into the pro volleyball world. He had imagined a big party with his friends, lots of food and alcohol, he had imagined laughter, he had imagined a great night with Akaashi. Until now he had only had the loneliest night of his life and a depressing meeting with his best friend who questioned him about his breakup with the boy he had been in love with for seven years.

"Congrats," Kuroo said rising his beer, Koutarou followed, so then they could took a large sip. After a few silent moments, Kuroo turned towards him. "What does that have to do with Akaashi?"

He sighed while trying to organize his thoughts.

"Ya' know, the travelling, the training... I wouldn't have time for him", he muttered letting his back rest against the couch.

"You can't be that stupid, Bo," Kuroo said before taking another sip of his beer. "Is not like all the pros are single, ya' know?"

Koutarou closed his eyes knowing he was right. But then he remembered the arguments at night, where Keiji reproached him for forgeting again to warn him that he would not come to dinner because he stayed training until nightime, when Keiji told him that he did not ask him not to train until late, but to warn him when he did that. He remembered the sad look of his ex-boyfriend, when after a long day of work and training, he went straight to sleep, not wanting to spend time with him in the living room. He remembered the resignation in his voice, when Koutarou asked him to go to the gym together instead of going for a walk among the cherry trees.

"It would be more of the same, Kuroo, maybe you don't know it, but Akaashi always put my career before anything else," he said while glancing over the book that he was holding minutes before. The same book he had given Akaashi a year before, after leaving him waiting an hour outside the movie theather because he had felt with enough energy to train a little more. "Going pro will absorb me more, I can't do that to him".

Koutarou didn't expect that his friend would punch him in the arm.

"Of course I knew Akaashi put you before anything else, dumbass" Kuroo said clenching his jaw. "Everyone knew, you moron".

"No, you don't know, ya' know how many times I came here and found him pretending he didn't care that I missed our date? Or hidding dome present when he noticed that I had forgotten a special day?"

"FYI, I did know... usually he would talk to Kenma and well... Kenma would told me," the raven muttered. "But Akaashi never complained, not really, he just talked to Kenma because he was worried."

"He deserves better".

"Obviously he deserved that you throw him away the day you achived your dreams, after all the shit he went through by your side," Kuroo's voice dripped poison, and Koutarou took another sip, accepting those words.

"It will be better for him".

Keiji would find someone that wouldn't forget special days, he would find someone that didn't lose track of time, he would find someone that will be able to spend the evening with him, he would find someone better.

But he... he would never find someone better than Keiji.

After a few minutes of silence, Kuroo got up, smirked and extended his hand to Koutarou.

"Whe need to celebrate your start at the pro world," he said while grinning. "Get ready while I call the guys, we will get wasted".

The gray-haired man felt his lips curl up upward.

"Yeah, invite Kenma and Akaashi, thouI don't think they will like to see me," he muttered.

"Ya' know that I won't take sides, right? Neither Kenma, I think. Both of you are our friends".

"Thanks".

"If Kenma doesn't show up, it will be probably because he would not want to leave Akaashi alone".

"I don't think Akaashi will want to come," he muttered, feeling a uneasy at calling his exboyfriend by his surname.

"You really want me to invite Akaashi?"

"I told him I wanted to be his friend, and friends invite each other o celebrate"

"Maybe you should give him some time, ya' know so he can get over all of thise before you try being his friend".

"If Akaashi doens't want to see me, he won't".

Kuroo nodded before starting to write the message.

"I really weird hear you call him Akaashi instead of Keiji, ya' know?"

Koutarou felt a lump in his throat.

"It's less painful this way," he muttered, more for himself than to answer his friend.

.

Keiji tried to smile for himself when he finished arranging the contents of the last box he had brought to his new apartment, without success. Deciding there was no point in trying to fool himself, he checked his phone, he had two messages from Kenma.

_> How was the moving in?_

_> Did you finished? Are you hungry?_

He checked the time the last, it was from about forty minutes ago. He left the phone, deciding not to answer, probably his friend had already eaten. He walked to the living room, where he saw his wallet on the small coffee table that he had obtained in a thrift store a couple of days ago. He didn't even bother to check the contents of his fridge or cupboard, he knew that they were empty.

As he was leaving his new apartment, he wondered if it wasn't a better idea to make a list of what he needed before he went shopping.

.

While trying to maneuver on the train with all the bags he was carrying, product of his trip to the supermarket, he thought that it would probably be better to go shopping on a regular basis to avoid carrying more than three bags at the same time. He had been naive thinking that if he only bought food for himself, he wouldn't have trouble at the trip back to his apartment. When he looked down and saw the contents of the bag closest to his face, and huffed somewhat annoyed. Keiji should have thought that on his first trip to buy groceries these would be more than what he would regularly buy. The spices and condiments jars sticking out of the bag were proof of that.

He remembered how when he was still living with Koutarou, the oldest ended up carrying most of the bags and only let him carry the bags with delicate things, like eggs or some fruits that would get smashed easily.

As he struggled out of the car carrying his groceries, he couldn't help but think that Koutarou's help would have been useful at that momment.

He avoided watching the TVs in the electronics store on the way to his apartment, which at the time were broadcasting an interview made to the newest member of the MSBY Black Jackals.

.

Once he finished putting the last packet of fish in the refrigerator, he turned to see what was going on on the kitchen counter. Three packages of beef.

He frowned, annoyed with himself.

That was the eighth thing he had bought without really wanting it, but out of habit. Because Koutarou loved that after a particularly difficult day at the office or practice, Akaashi would receive him with a plate of _gyudon_ or _sukiyaki_. He turned to look at the contents of the refrigerator again, sighing at the ridiculous amount of food in it, enough to feed four adults for a week, or Koutarou and Keiji considering how much both of them used to eat.

"At least that way I won't have to buy so many things the next time,” he murmured, putting away the beef packages.

He decided that after he was done with the odyssey of stocking his kitchen, he well deserved a good cup of coffee. He took the small bag of coffee beans and opened the packaging of his new coffee grinder. Once he had ground enough to make a strong coffee, he walked to the microwave, which was next to his coffee maker.

Or at least next where his coffe maker was supposed to be.

"Shit," the muttered noticing that he never thought about needing to buy the only appliance capable of making his favorite drink.

He closed his eyes and counted to five before putting everything in its place and before searching in the cupboard everything necessary to prepare a hot chocolate.

Because despite not being his drink of choice, it was Koutarou's favorite for rainy, tiring or slightly depressing nights, and just like with meat, he had bought everything he needed to prepare it without thinking.

As the smell of chocolate and cinnamon filled the kitchen he couldn't help but start crying, remembering how a few weeks earlier, that smell would cause a hug from the back and a couple of kisses on his neck.

He wiped his eyes when the drink was ready and walked to the couch.

He took the first sip while turning on the television, which was on a cooking show that he didn't found interesting. He switched channels without paying much attention to their content for a few minutes, until Koutarou's smile blinded him for a moment.

It was the repetition of the interview he had seen his way to his apartment.

Without thinking twice, he turned off the TV.

And went to his computer to search the full interview on the internet.

As he listened to his ex-boyfriend talk to the beautiful interviewer explaining how it had been a new experience to start working full time on improving in the sport he loved, Keiji did not try to contain the tears that, again, ran down his face while slowly savoring the hot chocolate.

Tears welled up even more when he decided the drink was too sweet.

Just like Koutarou liked it.

.

A month after his first night alone in that aparment, Koutarou found himself wearing one of the many hoddies Keiji had taken over in the time they had lived together. The fabric still smelled like coffee, ink, and paper. He wiped away the moisture that threatened his eyes with the red fabric, while wishing that the smell of Keiji on his clothes lingered a little longer.

It was Friday night and after heavy training he found himself at his apartment with nothing to do. He turned on the television out of habit, appearing before him that Canadian show about clones that Keiji liked so much. He tried to pay attention, but when the protagonist began to talk to a transsexual version of hierself and another clone with glasses and dreadlocks, he decided that it was best for him to find something else to deal with.

He took a book that was out of place and opened it on page forty.

Ever since Keiji had left, Koutarou had been trying to read it, each day managing to read a page or two before giving up.

He turned the page and saw a yellow post-it with his own handwriting.

_"You said that when you finished the chapter we would go to sleep."_

He smiled when he saw that the note was right in the middle of a chapter, instead of being at the end as Koutarou used to place them so that Keiji noticed that he had already spent too much time reading, which meant that as always, Keiji had ignored it.

He smiled remembering how beautiful his ex-boyfriend looked when he fell asleep on the couch. Remembering how his face loosened a little, how his back relaxed a bit, how his hair fell on his forehead, how his hands hugged the book he had been reading.

He felt the tears roll down his face as he remembered how it felt to carry him to the room they shared at the time, being careful not to wake him up.

When he remembered the softness of his boyfriend's skin when he kissed him on the forehead, he decided that the best thing he could do was sleep.

As he tried to fall asleep, searching for the scent of Keiji in his bed to no avail, he wondered how long it would take him stop missing Keiji.

"Something tells me never," he murmured, placing himself on the right side of the bed, leaving enough space for someone else to sleep next to him.

.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you have any question, correction, comment, or any feedback.. well.. please tell me at the comments!  
> I hope mi writing wasn't that bad...  
> Have a nice day ♥


	2. Failed attempt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "If you hadn't managed to get his address from me, what would you have done?" Yukie asked while Koutarou dedicated himself into memorizing the address in case something happened to the post-it in his hands.
> 
> "I probably would have ended up going to wait for him outside of his office," he replied without taking his eyes off the yellow square.
> 
> Yukie's laugh made him turn to glare at her.
> 
> "It wouldn't have been of much use to you," she said smiling. "He got a new job a couple of months after you broke up with him. Although I think it is better that I let him tell you what's been happening in his life."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, this story is completed in spanish, if you are a spanish speaker, I hightly recommend you to read the Spanish version because I'm a spanish speaker so I think I get to express myself better in my native language. You can find the story in spanish with the name "Ir y volver".
> 
> Oh, and while I wrote this chapter I had one song repeating again and again, it was "4 in the morning" by Gwen Stefani. I kinda feel that it reflects some of the feelings I had while writting the chapter. If you want to give it a chance, well the links is here.
> 
> [4 in the morning - Gwen Stefani](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_OLUSELxFok)

Keiji muted his phone on the second ring, cursing the fact that he had to wake up at six in the morning.

The problem was, it was Saturday, and he didn't have any alarms set for that day. He picked up his phone again, noticing that it was ten in the morning, and that instead of an alarm, he had muted a incoming call. When he saw the ID, his heart skipped a beat. As it always did since those calls started.

_Koutarou._

Knowing his old boyfriend, he would probably call him again in a couple of minutes, so he decided to mute his phone.

A whole year had passed without any contact with the golden-eyed young man, and he didn't plan to break that winning streak, not yet at least. So he buried his head in the pillow, remembering that it had been a year since Koutarou had ended their relationship.

For a few minutes, he tried to fall asleep, before accepting that it was a lost cause and getting up. He walked to the bathroom and brushed his teeth while checking his phone again, noticing that now he had three missed calls. Two calls from Koutarou and one from Kuroo. When the second call from Kuroo appeared on the screen, he turned off the screen again, frowning.

Did Koutarou think that calling him from his best friend's phone would make him answer?

A message from Kenma distracted him for a moment.

_> Bokuto wants to take away my phone to call you._

He turned off his phone before walking to the kitchen, thinking about what to prepare for breakfast.

The problem was that the task didn't distracted him as much as he would have liked. While preparing an omelette, he found himself thinking that Koutarou liked the egg to be really smooth, without it being completely cooked, and he found himself taking the food out of the pan by habit. His ex-boyfriend would have loved breakfast.

He frowned, annoyed at himself for not being able to get Bokuto out of his system even though he hadn't heard from him for a year.

Even though that was a lie.

Keiji knew everything that could be known about Bokuto Koutarou's professional life.

Because Keiji never missed a game or an interview.

A part of him hated himself for not fulfilling his purpose of detoxing from the rising star of the Black Jackals, for always making time, canceling meals, meetings, leaving work early and making all the necessary changes to his schedule so he could always be able to watch his ex-boyfriend's games and always watch the interviews, so he could always feel proud and happy to see that the young man with the golden eyes was making everyone see him as he had always seen him: as a star.

When he finished his breakfast, he took a book from his shelf and sat in his little armchair. He turned to see his apartment, thinking how different it was from the apartment he had with Koutarou a year ago. Their old home had been spacious, quite a bit larger than they had required it, but Koutarou had insisted on a spacious place; the place where he lived was much smaller, but not necessarily less comfortable, not really. It didn't have that warmth of his old home, but he was sure that nowhere would have it, since the warmth of the place was due to the young man with golden eyes who lived with him.

Still, his current apartment had amenities that the previous one didn't had, like a proper shelf for all his books in the living room, instead of the small center bookshelf and little piles of books he used to have all over the place. He tried to think of another improvement, but found none worth emphasize at the moment.

Suddenly, Keiji lost the mood to read, so he went to his desk and sat down to review the manuscripts he had pending. He frowned when he read the first sentence of the text, it was too pretentious and became too confusing as he continued to read it. He picked up one of his red pens before he began to write on the paper, scratching on what he considered unacceptable and writing on top of what he considered important to improve. After half an hour, he finished reviewing and correcting the first page.

He rubbed his eyes trying to make his eyesight focus, not really succeeding. He probably couldn't avoid glasses for much longer. El raven smiled slightly as he remembered how Koutarou had been the first person to tell him that he needed to check his eyesight after admitting that he was not able to read the subtitles of a movie at the cinema. Leaving the function Koutarou had insisted that the weekend would be spent looking for glasses that would make him look even more beautiful than he already was, according to the older man's words. At the end of the weekend they had spent it going to the gym in the morning and resting all afternoon because Koutarou had decided that he needed to increase the strength of his arms.

He berated himself for always letting the memories of his life with the now professional volleyball player come back to him so easily. He returned his gaze to the manuscript he was now reviewing and frowned, trying again to force his eyes to focus on the words in front of him, succeeding with a slight headache.

After three hours reviewing the manuscript, he got up from his chair, deciding that it would be better if he took a bath soon, otherwise he wouldn't be able take advantage of the rest of his Saturday. As he arranged the papers and his notes, he thought he had been a fool believing that being in the literature department would be less stressful than in the weekly manga magazine department.

He picked up his phone after having ignored it for a few hours, noticing with some annoyance that he had about fifteen missed calls and too many text messages. Seeing that they were all from Koutarou and Kuroo he didn't bother to check them, leaving the device on his desk before going to take a bath.

.

"Yukippe! Please!” Koutarou asked as he put his hands together and bowed his head. "I need you to say me where does he lives! Kenma said that if I ask him again he won't see me for a month!"

The young woman frowned and crossed her arms.

"You know that Akaashi has every right to ignore you, right?" The girl said in a stern voice.

Koutarou bit his lip knowing that the girl in front of him was right, but he still didn't want to give up so soon.

"Please, I need to talk to him."

"Why do you need to talk to him?" Koutarou turned to see his friend with wide eyes. He didn't expect Yukie to agree to help him find Keiji so soon. "I'm not agreeing to help you, not yet at least, ” she added as if she could read his mind.

Koutarou flopped down on the girl's couch, sighing slightly.

"I want to repair what I did," he murmured.

"Oh, you mean throw your relationship with him away as soon as your dreams came true?" Yukie asked with a slight tinge of rage in her voice, one that he had heard only a couple of times in the entire time he had known her.

Koutarou shook his head.

"I know no one believes it, but I trully did what I thought was the best for him," he replied, lowering his head.

When after a month of been apart, he realized that Keiji had actually lived through the worst part of his career as a professional athlete, and that realization left him feeling lost. At first he hadn't noticed, it had all been such a series of changes, stopping working at the office, starting to dedicate himself full-time to volleyball, Keiji’s absence, he hadn’t noticed it for the first month. It was on a December afternoon, lying on the sofa in the apartment looking at the birthday present that he had bought for Keiji and that he hadn't dared to give, that he realized that he had a lot of free time.

Time that he could have dedicated to Keiji.

Instead of spending his nights watching series that he didn't really find interesting, he could have spent them laying on the couch with Keiji while he read one of his books that were too heavy to be really interesting, but that seemed to fascinate his ex-boyfriend. Instead of spending his weekends playing video games until he was tired, he could have spent them wandering around town holding hands with the black-haired man. Instead of spending his nights up in bars looking for someone attractive enough to spend the night, he could have spent them with Keiji.

"What part of leaving him at the top of your life was the best for him?" Yukie's voice brought him out of his thoughts.

"I thought I was doing him a favor by letting him go before it all went downhill," she murmured feeling her eyes burn his.

"But actually, Akaashi was pushing you to the top the whole time, right, Bo?"

Koutarou couldn't help but smile slightly at the accuracy of the comment.

"Don't you dare tell him that it was I who gave you his address," the young woman muttered before taking a post-it and writing a few lines on it.

Suddenly Koutarou found himself hugging the young woman.

"Thanks, Yukippe!"

When the hug ended, the young woman tucked a lock of hair behind her ear.

"If you hadn't managed to get his address out of me, what would you have done?" Yukie asked while Koutarou dedicated himself into memorizing the address in case something happened to the post-it in his hands.

"I probably would have ended up going to wait for him outside of his office," he replied without taking his eyes off the yellow square.

Yukie's laugh made him turn to glare at her.

"It wouldn't have been of much use to you," she said smiling. "He got a new job a couple of months after you broke up with him. Although I think it is better that I let him tell you what's been happening in his life."

Koutarou nodded before hugging the girl again.

"I owe you a barbecue and a beer."

"First fix what you did."

"I'll do that," said the boy as he went to the aparment's door.

"You better beg forgiveness on your knees!"

"That's my plan!"

When he found himself a few steps outside the redhead's home, he retraced his steps and knocked on the girl's door.

"Is something wrong, Bo?" Asked the young woman clearly surprised.

Koutarou shook his head before staring at his friend.

"When I broke up with Keiji, no one took sides, not really," he commented, remembering how his circle of friends had remained practically intact after their separation and how no one had tried to hide the fact that they also continued in contact, although it usually seemed occasional, with Keiji. "Except you and Konoha."

The girl's eyes widened for a moment before she sighed and stepped to the side of the door, indicating to Koutarou that he could enter the apartment. When he got to the living room, Yukie motioned for him to sit on the couch.

"I'll make some tea, do you want some?"

"Thank you."

After a few minutes, Yukie found herself sitting next to Bokuto, a bit more tense than she had been before making the tea.

"When you broke up with Akaashi, he secluded himself for a while, did you know that?" Yukie asked suddenly. When he made a move to speak, Yukie raised her hand, asking for silence like she used to do in their high school days. "Nothing too dramatic, he was just busied himself with his work all the time."

"Kenma said something like that, that Keiji started staying late at work," the young man murmured, remembering how that information had puzzled him a bit, especially since Keiji had always insisted on leaving his work at the appropriate hours, saying it was rest is just as important as hard work.

"Well, one day, Akinori and I went to a bar near the office where he worked, and we thought that we might as well go ahead and get Akaashi out with us. I remember we had to convince the receptionist to let us pass..."

"The old hag at the lobby?"

Yukie smiled before denying.

"He had already left his job at the manga company by then, anyway, when we entered we had to ask a bit to find Akaashi's cubicle... And do you know what we saw there?"

Koutarou felt his blood freeze for a second before her friend's stern gaze, the only response he could give a slight shake of his head.

"Akaashi crying silently while looking at his phone. He didn't even notice us coming and when we got close enough for him to see us, he turned off the screen. But Akinori and I could see the picture he was watching, it was when you got that call from the Elephants to join them."

Bokuto knew which photo his friend was referring to. They had taken her under one of the largest trees in the university, where he had been having lunch with Keiji, Kuroo, and Yaku. He remembered how when the call ended he couldn't help but grab Keiji by the waist and lift him up and start turning with him in his arms. The photo had been taken by Yaku before saying that it would be fun to lift up the ball again after his spikes.

He picked up his cell phone and searched for the photo in his gallery, finding it quickly. He felt his browns frown as he watched the photo where Keiji smiled at Koutarou and how Koutarou himself smiled at the camera.

"It's a nice photograph," the volleyball player muttered under his breath.

Yukie sighed before continuing.

"At the end we didn't go to the bar, we went to Akinori's apartment and let Akaashi let it all out of his system and cry for hours."

Koutarou shook his head.

"Kenma never said anything..."

"I don't think Akaashi would have done it before, and I don't think he would do it again, you know better than anyone how he is"

"I understand why you took his side."

"Bo, we weren't taking no one's side, we just thought Akaashi needed us more."

"Thank you for taking care of him."

Yukie smiled before reaching and tousling his hair slightly.

"Just don't make us need to do it again."

.

He ran the towel through his hair carefully, thinking that he really needed a haitcut. His bangs already reached his eyes and according to his friends he always seemed of someone that had just rolled out of bed.

He saw his reflection thinking that maybe that was the image that Koutarou always had in mind when he asked him to grow his hair.

He clicked his tongue annoyed, he was thinking about his ex-boyfriend again.

A knock on the apartment door made him snap out of his thoughts.

He closed his eyes for a moment, wondering who it could be. He very much doubted that it was Kenma, he had been with Kuroo and Koutarou before, he also doubted that it was Yukie or Konoha, since they usually took the weekend to spend it together. Deciding that whoever was waiting for him at the entrance would appreciate seeing him dressed, he hurried to his room to put on an oversized hoodie.

He walked thinking how ridiculous he must look at that moment with something so big, but he couldn't help it. When he lived with Koutarou he had gotten the habit of wearing his sweatshirts, which were always too big for him. After spending his first night in the apartment crying while watching Bokuto's interview on his computer, he had decided that he needed to buy something to comfort him.

He remembered planning to buy a modern coffee maker that would have his coffee ready each morning so he could drink it just in time after he finished getting ready. At the end he had bought that white sweatshirt with black and gold lines that reminded him so much of Koutarou.

While thinking that it was best to start buying hoddies that would actually fit him, he opened the door of the apartment.

Golden eyes that he had not expected to meet in a long time were the first thing he saw when he opened the door.

"Kou..." he began to mutter before correcting. "Bokuto-san."

.

Koutarou felt like someone had punched him in the stomach. He felt Keiji's words take his breath away.

Bokuto-san? What had happened to Koutarou?

"K-Keiji," he said making a great effort not to lower his gaze. "It's been a while."

"One year." Keiji's voice hadn't changed much in reality, but for some reason the black-haired man didn't sound like Koutarou remembered him. "I won't ask you how you got my address, I guess you got someone to give it to you."

He couldn't remember when was the last time Keiji had spoken to him in such a distant and formal way. Maybe it was in his freshman year of high school?

"I'm sorry, Keiji, but I had ... I-I have to talk to you," Bokuto said taking a step towards the apartment before the black-haired man invited him in. "You left me no choice."

For a second, he scanned his old boyfriend. His hair was longer than before, just as Koutarou had always wished, the jet black locks curled slightly at the ends, and it covered his forehead. He definitely had lost some weight, his cheeks were a little more sunken and he did not seem able to fill up the clothes he was wearing. Although probably the latter was since the sweatshirt he was wearing was probably Koutarou's size. Whose sweatshirt was it? Was Keiji dating someone? No one had told him anything about it.

"I thought I was being clear by not answering your messages, Bokuto-san," replied the younger one, causing Koutarou to stop looking at him and start doubting everything he had planned to do.

"You know how I am, if I have something in mind, I don't give up easily"

Koutarou felt something akin to physical pain when he saw how Akaashi's neutral expression remained on his face. What had happened to that Keiji who smiled almost imperceptibly when he acted arrogant?

"I'm sorry Bokuto-san, I'm busy right now, it will have to be another day," Akaashi declared before closing the door.

It didn't take Bokuto a second to start banging the apartment door.

"Keiji! Come on! Open the door! We need to talk!"

.

Keiji felt his heart pound against his ribs as he heard Koutarou knock on the door. After a year of not seeing the gray-haired boy, he was back in front of him. After a year of only seeing him through a screen, Koutarou was at the other side of the door.

"Keiji! Come on! Open the door! We need to talk!"

He closed his eyes and began to count slowly from one to one hundred.

"Keiji! Please! I need to talk with you!"

Keiji clenched his fists and pressed his forehead against the cold wood of the door.

"I don't have time right now, Bokuto-san," Keiji interrupted feeling proud of been able to maintain his composure, or at least keep his voice from shaking.

"Keiji! Please!"

He knew that the boy on the other side of the door was stubborn, he knew that if he got his mind set into something, it was extremely difficult to make him give up his goal. It was difficult, but not impossible. Thinking that it might not be his best idea, he reopened the door, causing Koutarou to stop his fist in midair, inches from hitting the black haired boy's face. He fixed his gaze on the volleyball player, who flinched for a moment before lowering his arm.

"Bokuto-san, I have a lot of work to do at the moment, and I really would rather do it without worrying if you will ruin my door." He congratulated himself for saying such a good excuse, since if he had told the truth, that what he really needed was to do his grocery shopping, Koutarou would have insisted on accompanying him.

Yes, bury himself with work and avoid his boyfriend was a better idea than going for the food and coffee he needed.

Koutarou's eyes widened, and Keiji thought that his former partner was looking too surprised by the fact that he could be able to ruin a door by knocking it, being that he was responsible for Komi's door having various marks of fists due to a night of drinking and several stupid bets.

"Are you working on Saturday, Keiji?"

The black haired boy nodded, understanding perfectly why the man in front of him was surprised.

"But you never work at the weekeds... because you need to rest, right?"

"Sometimes it is necessary to do it, today is one of those days," he answered thinking that it was not actually true, because the only reason he worked outside office hours was because he needed to be distracted.

He was about to add that he needed to work at that moment, when Koutarou's look of concern kept him right there.

"Do you get enough sleep? Are you getting enough rest? Do you eat well?" asked the older one placing his hand on Keiji's shoulder, without him noticing it at all, distracted by his golden eyes.

He took a step back, distancing himself from Koutarou, trying to prevent Koutarou's concern from making him agree to talk.

Because he knew if they talked, he would ask him to stop acting silly and be friends again. Because he knew that if Koutaoru asked him face to face, Keiji wouldn't be able to say no to him. Because he knew that being just friends again would be so much more painful than being nothing.

"Yes, K-Bokuto-san," he finally answered.

Koutarou frowned before nodding, as Keiji knew he did when he wasn't sure about something, but he let it slide so as to complicate the situation even more.

"Tomorrow is Sunday, it is not healthy for you to work tomorrow too," declared the older man crossing his arms. "Then, we will talk tomorrow."

Keiji had to restrain the urge let a quiet laugh scape his throat like he used to do when Koutarou took that attitude, the attitude where he took it for granted that what he said would be done. Especially because most of the time the opposite case happened.

"I'm sorry Bokuto-san, I really need to get back to my work," Akaashi declared taking the door handle. "Have a nice day."

.

Keiji cursed himself when he found himself wanting to make a cup of coffee and noticing that there was no coffee left inside the small sack he kept. Afterwards, he cursed Koutarou for making him avoid his trip to the market.

He pulled on another huge sweatshirt, one he had bought a few months ago, from official Black Jackals merchandise. He smiled when he saw himself in the mirror with the garment. Maybe if Koutarou hadn't broke up with him when he was hired by the Black Jackals, the hoodie he would be wearing would be Koutarou's, with his last name printed on the back and a huge number 12, not one from the official merchandise store without any name or number.

He knew wearing that hoodie was the opposite of what he needed, but after seeing his ex-boyfriend the evening before, it was what he wanted.

He took his wallet, put on his shoes and left the apartment.

When he left the building, instead of being greeted by the cold November wind, Koutarou's smiling face greeted him.

Keiji cursed himself for daring to wear Koutarou's team hoodie outside his apartment. Afterwards, he cursed Koutarou for giving him that satisfied look, as if he had accomplished something.

.

To say that Bokuto was happy was a huge understatement.

He knew that if he looked for Keiji in his apartment again, like the day before, he would just lock himself in saying he was too busy. Therefore, he decided to wait outside the building, because he knew that if Keiji had not gone to do his grocery shopping on the Saturday afternoon, he would have to do it on Sunday morning. Because Keiji was a creature of habits.

Despite being so sure, the confirmation of his theory had been the best thing that had happened to him in a very long time.

What he hadn't expected was to see Keiji wearing a Black Jackals jacket. For a moment he had been excited thinking that he would probably have his number and last name on his back, but he quickly realized that it wasn't the case. Again he found himself somewhat taken aback by the size of the jacket, but decided to let it slide. When he had asked Kuroo the night before if he knew if Keiji was dating someone, the black haired man had told him that as far as he knew the editor was still single. On the other hand, Kenma had replied the same question saying that it was not up to him to talk about Keiji's private life.

And now he was taking the train with a visibly tense Akaashi Keiji.

"You don't have to come with me, Bokuto-san," Keiji said for the fourth time on their little trip.

"Don't worry, Keiji, I just want to be able to talk to you, but I don't want to keep you from doing your shopping, so I might as well keep you company while you to do the groceries," replied the one with gray hair.

"You could tell me what you want right now, so that you don't have to be with me while I do the groceries," the younger replied inmediately.

Koutarou had to supress the urge to laugh.

Sometimes it was too easy for him to throw his ex boyfriend off balance.

"I would prefer that we speak it calmly, preferably alone."

Keiji shook his head.

"I don't think I'm very interested in what you want to say to me alone," Keiji declared, fixing his sea colored gaze on him, making Bokuto gulp somewhat uncomfortably.

Keiji's gaze was as intense as he remembered.

But during their relationship he had learned how to endure it and even fight it, making it useless to use against him.

Before speaking, he smirked and returned the gaze to the black haired boy.

"You owe me, Keiji, you have ignored me for a year."

Koutarou must have known that saying that was a mistake, since Keiji immediately got up from his seat and placed himself a couple of seats away from him, between two people, obviously to prevent

Koutarou from sitting next to him.

Cursing his last sentence at the editor, he got up from his seat and stood in front of Keiji, holding the bar above him for balance.

"I'm sorry I said that, Keiji, but really, can we talk?"

"No."

Koutarou sighed, but he didn't move from his place.

.

"Keiji, let me help you with the bags," Koutarou asked as he saw Keiji having trouble carrying the four bags in his arms.

"I'd rather not touch my groceries Bokuto-san"

Koutarou snorted in annoyance as he walked alongside the raven on the way to the train station. When they were about to go down the steps of the train station, he decided that he would rather see Keiji upset for carrying the bags than seeing him fall to the ground for not being able to measure his steps carrying all those bags by himself.

"Hey!"

"Come on, don't make a fuss, I won't steal them or anything."

Keiji followed him and stood by him without saying a word, but Koutarou knew that his former partner was probably trying his best not to make a scene.

The ride on the train was silent, but Koutarou started to feel as if instead of breaking up a year ago, they had just had an argument.

But walking towards an apartment that was not his, taking a different path than the one he had taken the last three years, reminded him that they had actually ended their relationship a year ago and that they had also had an argument.

Or something like an argument.

"It's good to know that your tantrums haven't changed in all this time," he murmured without thinking, paying attention to how the black-haired man's footsteps were a little stronger than usual, his back was a little straighter, his shoulders a little more tense all being visible to Koutarou's trained eye, despite the huge jacket.

"What did you say?" Keiji's voice was dripping with anger.

"Nothing."

.

"I always thought that if you didn't have to cook for me, you wouldn't buy meat," Koutarou muttered as he handed him a package of meat to put in the refrigerator.

Keiji rolled his eyes.

"You weren't the only reason I ate meat, Bokuto-san," Akaashi replied while in his mind he agreed with his ex-boyfriend. He himself had thought that by not being with the volleyball player, his consumption of meat would be drastically reduced.

"Everything is in it's place! Now we can talk!" Koutarou exclaimed smiling.

Keiji had to hold back a smirk as he slowly shook his head.

"I never said that I would talk to you, Bokuto-san."

"But I went with you to do your groceries! I even helped you carrying everything! I helped you arrenge everything!"

"I never asked you to do it, Bokuto-san," he said, unable to prevent his lips from curling up a bit.

"But you didn't avoid it either!"

Keiji tried to avoid remembering how much he loved teasing Koutarou by confronting him when they were together, failing when he saw how he moved his arms agitated.

"If I remember correctly, I got up from my seat on the way to the store to get away from you. You were the one who made all those decisions by yourself" Keiji declared, feeling a bit of annoyance when saying that last sentence "You made all those decisions by yourself", he repeated to himself. "Like you always do, ”he added bitterly.

The golden eyes of the young man in front of him flickered, obviously surprised by the last thing he had said.

"Keiji..."

The black-haired man rolled his eyes before walking to the couch and sitting down, once there, he made a gesture with his head, to indicate to Koutarou to sit down as well.

"What do you want, Bokuto-san?"

The faster Koutarou told him what he wanted, the faster he would get out of his life again.

Faster he would return to his reality without Bokuto Koutarou.

"I would like you to come back to live with me."

Or not.

"Excuse you?"

Koutarou reached out to take his hand, which Keiji noticed but couldn't avoid, since he was still processing what the pro-athlete had just said.

What he also noticed was that Koutarou's hands were as warm as he remembered.

"Keiji, I wish ... to live again with you" Koutarou said with a bit more confidence than the first time, probably interpreting the fact that Keiji allowed him to hold his hand as something positive.

Little did he knew.

"Get out," Keiji muttered.

"What? Keiji, please go back to the apartm..."

"I told you to get out, Bokuto-san," Keiji interrupted, trying his best to keep his voice under control.

"Keiji..."

"Bokuto-san, please get out of here, don't make me repeat myself again," he asked, feeling his voice tremble a little.

"But Keiji..." Koutarou's voice was trembling as well, but Keiji knew that far from trembling with fury, as was his case, the older one's voice trembled in confusion.

Because only Bokuto Koutarou could believe that after being apart a year, Keiji would come back to live with him just because he asked him after going to a groceries shopping trip.

"Bokuto-san, I'm sorry that you interpreted me accepting your company while I did my shopping, even when I didn't asked you to do so, as a sign that I wanted to live with you again..."

"Keiji! Stop calling me like that for once! I'm not a stranger! Come on! It's me, Koutarou!"

Keiji couldn't stop a laugh from making it's way out from his throat, a laugh that contained didn't a hint of humor in it.

"I think you are the one who shouldn't speak to me with such familiarity, Bokuto-san. If I remember correctly, you were the first to call me by my last name again" he murmured, remembering the feeling of emptiness he had felt a year ago when one night the man in front of him had called him Akaashi instead of Keiji.

"But that was only because I..."

"Because you wanted to break up with me, right?" Akaashi asked, fixing his gaze on Koutarou, satisfied with the fact thar he looked puzzled. "If I remember correctly, Bokuto-san, you and I are nothing."

He couldn't help looking away when he saw the small shudder that ran through his ex-boyfriend at the moment he spoke those words.

"I asked you to continue being friends," said the older one holding tightly Keiji's hands, which for some reason continued in Koutarou's hands, "and you were the one who wanted to avoid me at all costs..."

"Excuse me if I didn't want to see the person who broke my heart and pretend that I was fine," he said practically in a whisper, but Keiji was sure, from Koutarou's expression, that he had heard him.

"Keiji, I..."

"Please, Bokuto-san, get out of my apartment."

.

"Did you really expect Akaashi to just agree to live with you again?" Komi asked before taking a gulp of his beer.

"Did you even bother to apologize?" Konoha asked, visibly more annoyed than his friend, which he understood better after his last conversation with Yukie.

Koutarou shook his head, annoyed with himself.

"Everything was so fast, suddenly I saw him in front of me. And he was wearing a Black Jackals jacket!" He started to say, starting to move his hands as he tried to explain himself. How could he explain that he had taken that jacket as a good sign?

"Did you at least ask him to be your boyfriend again before you asked him to come live with you?" Komi asked as he finished his beer.

Koutarou shook his head, making his friends sigh, it was obvious that they believed him to be a lost cause.

"I thought he missed me as much as I missed him," the gray-haired man muttered. "If he had asked me to come back to live with him, I would have said yes in a second..."

"Well, you were the one who broke up with him," Komi said getting up, probably to go get another beer.

"That's why I wanted to be the one who asked him to come back!"

"Have you at least explained to Akaashi why you broke up with him?" Konoha asked, fixing his gaze on Koutarou.

"It's obvious..."

"Do you know that we all believed that you broke up with him because you wanted to avoid being exposed as bisexual?"

Koutarou froze.

"That wasn't the reason! That thought didn't even crossed my mind!" Koutarou exclaimed, thinking that maybe if he yelled it loud enough the words that his friend said would be forgotten. "I never would try to hide...!"

"And yet, the first thing you did after that call... was to end your relationship with a man."

"But, it has nothing to do with Keiji..."

Komi shook his head.

"We didn't really think about it, we knew how much you and Akaashi loved each other, but when we found out suddenly that you were done with him ... It was difficult to find a different explanation than the one Akaashi gave us," he said sitting down again, now with a beer in his hand, darker than the previous one.

Koutarou opened his eyes wide.

"Keiji told you that?"

His two companions nodded.

"One of the few times we went out with Akaashi, he told us that he assumed you broke up with him because of that."

Koutarou shook his head over and over.

"Never, never, never would have done it for that," he began to say quickly. "I did it because I thought it was the best for Keiji. I thought the best was..."

Konoha reached out and placed a hand on Koutarou's shoulder, making him stop talking for a moment.

"Don't worry, we know it wasn't like that."

"Why don't you try to start by explaining that to Akaashi?" Komi smiled as he said that. "It would be nice to see you together again, at least you would look happier together."

"I was much happier with Keiji."

"And Akaashi was much happier with you."

The three young men continued drinking and gradually drifted off the subject, at least for a few hours, until it was time to leave the bar.

As they left the bar, Koutarou couldn't help but ask the question that had been haunting his mind since the day before to a slightly intoxicated Konoha and a fairly intoxicated Komi.

"Is Keiji seeing someone else?"

"Of course not, Yukie tried to set up him to several friends and he always refused," Konoha answered immediately. "He said he had no interest in another relationship."

Koutarou felt his chest puff up a bit with pride, he didn't know what he was proud of, but he was proud of something.

"Although he did date that guy, the one with the tongue piercing, remember? The one who dropped out of college,”Komi added.

"Oh right, but it was only a one weekend thing, right?"

"Yeah, but, he also dated a model, right?"

"Oh, right! Haiba's friend!"

Konoha smiled as if he had remembered something really funny instead of Koutarou's ex-boyfriend's recent suitors.

"It was fun to see how various models were fighting to get his number that time," Konoha muttered laughting slightly.

"It was more fun seeing how Akaashi blushed because of that."

Suddenly Koutarou no longer felt as sure as he had just moments ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaand, what do you think of this? I'm really proud of this one!  
> I hope you like it! and well, if you did like it, a kudos or/and a comment won't hurt you! Please tell me your opinions, ideas, critisism, whatever you want to tell me!  
> I'm pretty confident that the final chapter will be published this month, so bare with me! And then I think I will try to finish my bokutoweek series so I can start translating them... like before this year ends? (I don't have all the time I would like to have because you know.. I gotta work and work it's a bitch)  
> Anyway.... I hope you have a nice day! and stay safe my friends! *blows a kiss* ♥


	3. How can we do this

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Do you know why I broke up with you last year?"
> 
> Keiji blinked a few times before shrugging, thinking that Koutarou was still as direct as ever, although that wasn't something he should be surprised by.
> 
> "I have a good idea of what was going on in your mind," he finally answered, deciding to fix his gaze in Koutarou's golden eyes.
> 
> "Could you tell me what you think was the reason?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I was in a translating streak so I said "fuck the healthy amount of sleep hours" and finished this story. I'm actually posting it from my phone while I have a meeting at the office.  
>  Well, this is it... it's here... THE HAPPY ENDING!! Because I'm a sucker for BokuAka ❤
> 
> When I wrote this I wasn't in a mood of writing something romantic and happy because my bf had just left me, so I had to use one of my favorites "happy" songs, so rather than fit the chapter like the other two songs, this one gave me the mood to make this a happy ending. The song is "Sunday morning" by No Doubt (cuz I love their songs)
> 
> [Sunday morning - No Doubt](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PiBX-ESFDF0)
> 
> I hope you enjoy this story as much as I did.

"Keiji's birthday is next week," Koutarou muttered while sitting on the couch in Kuroo's apartment, who was currently pouring three cups of tea.

"And you haven't spoken to Akaashi yet," Kenma muttered without taking his eyes off his gaming console.

Koutarou sighed before peeking into his friend's game display. It seemed like it was some kind of rhythm game with different instrumental songs from different famous games.

"Maybe I could talk to Akaashi again if someone would lend me his phone," Koutarou muttered without taking his eyes off his friend's game.

"Akaashi blocked Kuroo's number because you used it to call him too many times, and unlike you I do speak with him kinda daily," replied the young man as his fingers pressed different combinations of 'steps' replicating the image on the top of the display.

"I just wanna talk to him"

"Come on Kenma, let him call Akaashi once so they can see each other and this idiot apologizes," Kuroo intervened, leaving the tray with the tea and cookies on the coffee table, and then sitting in one of the armchairs of the living room .

Kenma frowned, not saying a word as he continued to press the buttons on his console, at the expectant gaze of the two older men. A minute later, when the music from the game ended, the youtuber rummaged in the pockets of his hoodie, pulling out a phone with a shinny red case.

"Just don't ask him to come back to live with you before you apologize properly," he asked, handing the phone to Koutarou, who smiled nodding enthusiastically.

He dialed the number he had memorised eight years ago, and before making pressing the call button, he turned to see the long-haired boy.

"Why did ya' never tell Keiji the real reason of why I ended our relationship?"

Kenma frowned, looking away from his console for a moment.

"I didn't knew it," the younger one replied before returning his gaze to the video game. "Because neither you nor Kuroo thought it necessary to tell me why you decided to break up with him."

The volleyball player's eyes widened in shook.

"I-I thought, you knew, when I told Kuroo..."

Kuroo ran his hand through his hair before shaking his head, clearly distressed.

"When you told me, Kenma stayed with Akaashi..."

"But you were aware of it when I started asking for your phone again! Why didn't you tell him?" Koutarou exclaimed between mildy annoyed and completely puzzled.

Again, Kenma's gaze fell on him.

"Don't you think that's your responsibility? You are the one who caused this disaster, you have to fix it yourself" declared the minor before returning his attention to the small screen in front of him.

Koutarou knew that his friend was right, he had to clarify everything with Keiji.

After four ringtones, Keiji's voice was heard.

"Kenma?"

Koutarou closed his eyes for a moment, trying to think of what to say.

"Keiji... Hi."

For a moment, he was afraid that the black-haired man on the other end of the line would end the call, but hearing the sound of a kettle announcing that the water was ready, he guessed he still had a chance.

"Bokuto-san, what are you doing with Kenma's phone?"

"I begged him long enough for him to let me borrow it," replied the boy with golden eyes, without intending to make his ex-boyfriend laugh with the comment. When he opened his eyes, he noticed how Kuroo's gaze had a certain brightness that showed the interest he had in the subject, and then noticed that despite Kenma's gaze was focused on the screen of his game, the device did not emit any music, so he assumed that the long-haired boy wasn't playing so he could clearly hear the conversation that was taking place with his phone.

"It must have been quite some time."

"It took me almost a year," Koutarou admitted, remembering how almost a month after he finished with Keiji he had started asking Kenma to lend him his phone.

"So what do you want to tell me, Bokuto-san?"

"I thought you were going to hang up..."

"It would be rude to hang up if Kenma let you borrow his phone so could talk to me."

Koutarou smiled at Kenma before bowing his head slightly, thanking the younger one for the opportunity, to which he responded with a slight nod.

"I would like to talk to you, I know I don't deserve it, I know I did many things wrong, but really, I wish I could talk to you," the volleyball player began trying to keep his voice calm. "I'm not asking you for another chance, I just... wanna talk."

The sound of tea being poured into a cup was the only thing heard on the other end of the line for a few moments.

"Tomorrow I'll go to do the groceries, if you want, we can talk when I get back."

"Perfect! I'll see you in your apartment!'' Koutarou declared, unable to fully contain the emotion in his voice.

"Give Kenma and Kuroo-san my greetings, please."

When Koutarou was going to answer that of course he would, the phone announced the end of the call.

"So?" Kuroo was smirking.

"We'll talk tomorrow when he get's back from doing the groceries," the gray-haired boy declared, returning his phone to Kenma.

"Finally I'll be able to hang out with you two at the same time!" Exclaimed the raven man raising his arms.

"Don't screw it up," Kenma muttered smiling.

"By the way, Keiji says hello."

.

  
Keiji found himself in front of his closet choosing what to wear to go on his weekly visit to the market. He frowned, annoyed with himself for caring about his looks when all he would do was shopping the groceries that he needed to restock his cupboard. He sighed recognizing that he knew very well that there was a chance that it wasn't a simple visit to the market, since probably, like five weeks ago, Koutarou would be waiting for him outside the building, even if Keiji had told him that they would talk when he returned from shopping.

The raven hadn't even told him what time he would be back or at what time he would go shopping, knowing that Koutarou still remembered his shopping habits. The visit he had made more than a month ago was enough proof of that.

Deciding that a simple visit to the market did not require overdressing, he picked up a thick knitted sweater that lately fitted him somewhat oversized. He asked himself if it was time to get back to the gym and regain some of muscle that he had lost since his breakup with Koutarou. He sighed at the thought that there was no point in asking himself that kind of stuff at that moment.

He took more time than he would admit to find a scarf and beanie to match even a little with the sweater. Once he found them he took his wallet, put on his shoes, and adjusted his scarf in front of the hall mirror.

It wasn't his best outfit, but after all, who wore their best outfit to go to the market?  
When he exited the building, he met Bokuto Koutarou.

.

When he saw Keiji exit the building, the first thing he felt was a slight blush on his face. As usual, Keiji looked amazing without trying. Something that had probably taken him a couple of minutes to find and get on, it would probably have taken Koutarou a half hour and quite a few questions to Keiji so he could decide what to wear . The next thing he felt was some concern when he noticed that the sweater that the editor was wearing fell a little looser than before on his shoulders.

Koutarou couldn't help but frown.

"Is something wrong, Bokuto-san?" The editor's voice brought him out of his thoughts.

"Do you eat enough, Keiji?" Koutarou asked, deciding that it would be better go straight to the point.

Seeing Keiji's shoulders tense, he thought that maybe it had been a bad idea to ask that at that moment, that he probably should have waited a bit longer.

"Yes, Bokuto-san. I try to eat my three meals a day, ”replied Keiji in that tone that he knew very well.  
Keiji was lying.

"You are a terrible liar, Keiji" Koutarou replied trying to hide his annoyance the best he could with some humor in his voice.

The raven sighed slightly before starting to walk, leaving Koutarou behind for a few moments. The volleyball player ran after the editor, catching up with him in a moment.

"I usually work overtime and I don't always have time to prepare full meals," the black-haired man murmured once he was next to him. "Also, I haven't exercised for a long time, I've lost musculature."

Koutarou shook his head at that.

If after their talk Keiji gave him a chance, he would take care of doing something about it. 

.

"There is no need for you to carry the bags, Bokuto-san," Keiji said as he walked with Koutarou on his way to his apartment. The volleyball player was carrying three of the four bags containing the purchases he had made that day.

"Come on, you know well that this is nothing, and it will also be easier for you to open the door."

Keiji shook his head opening the door of the building to let Koutarou pass. The walk up the stairs was silent, something that Keiji took advantage of to think very well what could happen once they entered the apartment. He was sure Koutarou would want to talk about their relationship, and judging from what he had asked him the last time they had seen each other, he probably wanted them to live together again.

And although he had said that he wasn't willing to go back with the person who had broken his heart thirteen months ago, his thoughts always ended up making him imagine how it would be like to live again with the star he had known eight years ago.

The problem was how long that happiness would last.

Would they have to be kept their relationship as a secret for the sake of Koutarou's career? Was he willing to stay in the shadows as long as Koutarou's career wasn't affected?

His mind always answered no, that he deserved to be more than just a secret lover.

His heart on the other hand always answered that yes, that having Koutarou in his life was well worth that sacrifice.

When he least expected it, he found himself in front of the door of his apartment with Koutarou behind him, waiting for him to open the door. He suppressed a sigh, deciding that before continuing to think about what would happen once Koutarou told him what he wanted, he needed to enter his apartment and store the groceries.

.  


"Did you eat already, Bokuto-san?" Keiji asked once he finished putting the last package of fish in the fridge. Koutarou was torn between accepting that he hadn't eaten yet, due to having spent about an hour looking for what to wear, or denying it and finally have the conversation he had been waiting for a month.

In the end Koutarou's stomach answered for him.

"I'll make some mapo tofu," Keiji declared before taking the necessary stuff out of the frige, placing it on the counter and taking the rice from the cabinet where he had just stored it.

After a few moments the kitchen started to feel a bit warmer than before.

"Hey, Keiji, now that I think about it, doesn't your apartment have heating?" Asked the gray haired boy as he took off his jacket while Keiji rolled up the sleeves of his sweater.

"It doesn't work well, the only place where it works properly is in my room," replied the minor, still looking at the pot where the tofu was cooked with the meat. When the living room gets too cold, all I do is go to my room.

Koutarou nodded without taking his eyes off his former boyfriend's arms. Definitely the black-haired boy had lost weight in the time they had been apart.

"Did you eat before going shopping?" Asked the pro-athlete, which was answered by younger one by a simple shook of his head, making Koutarou annoyed. "If I had told you that I had already eaten, would you have prepared something to eat?"

Keiji turned to stare at him.

"I would have heated up some curry I made on Friday."

Koutarou rolled his eyes.

"You're a terrible liar." The editor didn't reply anything, making Koutarou to smirk as he watched him return his attention to the pot's contents.

"For your information, Bokuto-san, I'm not lying," replied Keiji before walking to the refrigerator and taking out a glass container that had something very similar to yellow curry inside. "I usually make two servings,” he murmured absently, setting the container in the refrigerator before returning to the stove.

The volleyball player frowned, thinking that maybe he couldn't read the editor as well as before.

"And still, you don't eat enough, Keiji. When we lived together you didn't neglect your meals so much."

When the rice cooker beeped, announcing that the rice was ready, Keiji walked towards it, took two bowls that were on the counter and served two generous amounts of rice. Than he returned to the pot, which was bubbling giving off a comforting aroma. He turned off the heat and served the pot's contents on the two bowls.

"Back then I didn't do so many overtime hours and I had to make sure there was food at home so that you didn't eat whatever you found on your way to the apartment, Bokuto-san," Keiji declared putting down one bowl infront of Koutarou.

Koutarou couldn't help but close his eyes and let the scent comfort him.

Keiji's food smelled as good as he remembered.

"Thanks for the food," they muttered at the same time before starting to eat.

.

"What did you want to talk about, Bokuto-san?" Keiji asked feeling a knot in the pit of his stomach as he sat on the other side of the sofa where Koutarou was sitting.

The older man took a deep breath before fixing his gaze on the editor's, as he usually did when he wanted to make it clear that he was talking about something serious.

"Do you know why I broke up with you last year?"

Keiji blinked a few times before shrugging, thinking that Koutarou was still as direct as ever, although that wasn't something he should be surprised by.

"I have a good idea of what was going on in your mind," he finally answered, deciding to fix his gaze in Koutarou's golden eyes.

"Could you tell me what you think was the reason?"

Keiji took a deep breath before answering, deciding to not look away.

"So that the beginning of your career as a professional volleyball would not be overshadowed by the fact that you were in a relationship with a man."

Koutarou closed his eyes before covering his face with his hands and letting out a frustrated grunt.

"Damn it, Keiji. Where did you get that idea from?"

Keiji blinked in surprise at the volleyball player's reaction.

"It was ... logical, Ko ... Bokuto-san," he said hoping that the man in front of him did not notice his slip.

The quick movement of his head told him that he wasn't that lucky.

"Why didn't you call me by my name?" Exclaimed the older one, approaching Keiji.

Keiji couldn't help but roll his eyes.

"It's common to be respectful with the people who one does not have any relationship."

"Keiji! Come on! We were dating for four damn years! Of course we have a relationship!"

"Which you decided to throw away!" Exclaimed Keiji feeling annoyed, moving a little in the sofa without noticing it, getting a little closer to Koutarou and towering him by a bit, trying in a certain way to dominate the discussion. "Excuse me if I try to keep my distance from someone who decided one night that he needed to leave me behind in order to continue his career!"

And there it was, that thought that had been in his mind those thirteen months.

The fact that Koutarou needed to leave him in order to have a bright future.

Koutarou's hands rested on Keiji's shoulders, squeezing them a little too much force, enought to make him groan, which caused Koutarou to loose his grip.

"Sorry, did I hurt you?"

Keiji shook his head.

"I didn't leave you because I wanted to hide that I'm in love with a man," declared the pro-athlete, bringing his face closer to Keiji's. "That thought never, ever crossed my mind that night. I never thought of hiding you, I would never have sacrificed you in exchange of my image."

Koutarou's eyes told him that his words were sincere.

"And yet, that night you left me," he muttered, taking his eyes off the golden eyes in which, even after those thirteen months, he loved to get lost. "And yet, that night you decided that your professional life and your life with me couldn't happen at the same time."

Koutarou's hands left his shoulders.

"I thought I was doing you a favor, I did it for your sake," the older declared as his hands took Keiji's.  
Keiji withdrew his hands instantly.

"Now is it my fault that you left me?" Keiji asked as he tried to make his voice convey everything he felt.

Anger, indignation, frustration, confusion... sadness.

Wishing that at least some of that would get to the man in front of him.

And judging by his expression, he had succeeded.

Because Bokuto Koutarou's eyes filled with tears that threatened to be shed at any moment.

"You don't understand, Keiji..."

"Then explain it to me! Tell me why a year ago you decided to leave me!"

He didn't even notice when the tears fell from his eyes, only noticing it when he tasted the salt in them while speaking.

.

Koutarou made another attempt to grab Keiji's hands, who was watching him while the tears stained his cheeks.

It was the reflection of his own face.

He felt a kind of calmness when he noticed that on that occasion the editor didn't withdraw his hands, although he was not sure if the raven had noticed that Koutarou had taken his hands.

"Keiji, I left you because I thought you deserved something better," he declared, fixing his gaze on Keiji's eyes, losing himself a moment in them, wondering, like he had done so many times in those eight years, if they were green or blue, remembering how one day they had noticed that his birth certificate said blue, but in his clinical tests it said green. "I still think that you deserve someone better, but now I think I can be that someone. I think I can be a better than how I was when we were together."

"Koutarou..." Keiji chocked the way he always did when he tried to keep his voice under control despite his emotions. "You were the best..."

"No, I wasn't, I forgot our dates, I was always late, I always changed our plans, I always left you behind," Koutarou said, cutting the raven off, shaking his head, remembering again everything that had led him to that horrible decision he had taken the year before "and much more. I did so many things wrong... You... I... I... I thought ... I-I n-never ... I-I d-didn't..."

Keiji's hands wrapped around Koutarou's, as they used to do when they were together and Koutarou needed to calm down a bit in order to speak properly.

"Take a deep breathe Koutarou, close your eyes and breathe," ordered the younger one with the softness that Koutarou remembered, making him follow his instructions without really thinking about it. "It's true that you were the best for me, that's why it affected me so much that you left me,” Keiji muttered, making Koutarou open his eyes and stare at him.

"Keiji, when I got the news that the Black Jackals wanted me in their team, the first thing I thought was that I would have less time for you," Koutarou remembered out loud, trying to smile.

"I never asked you to have time for me, Koutarou..."  
Keiji's hands made an attempt to move away from Koutarou's, but the athlete prevented it, intertwining his fingers with the editor's.

"That's why, I thought I was doing you a favor, I knew that you would never leave me, but I also knew that it was not fair how I had treated you," he replied, shaking his head. "I thought that when I started to dedicate myself full-time to volleyball I would have even less time for you, and that you would accept it."

"And I would have accepted it, Koutarou," Keiji muttered, making Koutarou lower his gaze.

"I know... I knew you would, so even if letting you go broke me, I decided it was the best for you," he said, closing his eyes. "But believe me that..."

"And did you think the best for me was to break my heart?" The editor yelled suddenly, intimidating Koutarou for a moment, after all, Keiji never ever had yelled in an argument before.

"I'm telling you that it broke my heart too!"

"But you were the one who decided! You were the one who knew what was happening! How do you think it was for me, Koutarou?" exclaimed the minor, trying to free his hands from the gray haired boy ones'. "One night you told me that you were breaking up with me, and then you gave me as the only explanation that a first division team had signed you! What did you expect me to think? " When he finished saying that, Keiji's hands slipped away from Koutarou's, who didn't seem to notice.

"I know! I know I was wrong! I know I did everything wrong! That's why I'm here! I want to get you back, Keiji!"

Koutarou wasn't sure if he just said that aloud or not, and Keiji's gaze didn't help much, since it was only focused on him, not letting see anything through his eyes or face.

.

Keiji remained silent as he tried to collect his thoughts.

Koutarou was in front of him telling him that their breakup had been because he had decided that Keiji deserved better.

"You know what? I did deserved better than that, I deserved a damn explanation,” the minor muttered without really thinking about it, wiping the tears that kept coming from his eyes with the sleeve of his sweater. "But I guess I now I have it" he added, fixing his gaze on the man in front of him.

He observed every detail of the athlete, his golden eyes that did not shine as much as before, the dark circles under them; his shoulders that were now somewhat broader than before, his hands, where some bits of pink and blue kinesio tape peeked out; his fingers, two of which were bandaged. The Bokuto Koutarou in front of him was no longer a buyer in a supply chain office who dedicated his afternoons to training, and his weekends to play volleyball in a second division team. No, the Bokuto Koutarou in front of him was someone who dedicated all his day to train, improve and play the sport he loved and was so passionate about.

The sport that had brought Keiji the best moments of his life and that at one point, had also taken away the most important person in his life.

"Keiji, please, if you come back with me, I promise you that everything will be different." Koutarou's voice brought him out of his thoughts "Trust me, everything will be so, so different."

Keiji shook his head.

"I never needed it to be different."

"I know, but it will be, I promise you it will be," Koutarou declared, taking Keiji's hands again. "I won't leave you behind again, I won't forget our dates, I will be early, I promise that I will change everything that I need to change."

Keiji smiled softly

"I'm telling you that I don't need anything to be different."

"But, if you're going to come back I want you to go back to something better than what you left behind," Koutarou replied, releasing Keiji's hands to wipe his tears. "God, everything will be better, so much better, I promise you, just ... just give me another chance."

Keiji took a quick look around.

"And how? How can we do this? What do we have to do to get back together, Kou?" Keiji asked feeling some relief as he let the nickname of the man in front of him roll out from his lips.

Suddenly Koutarou's arms were wrapping him in a tight hug.

"Like this."

Keiji smiled as he nodded, melting into a hug he had needed for far too much time.

When moments later he heard a sob, he was not totally sure who was the one crying, after all his nose was runny and his eyes were stinging, but his shoulder, where Koutarou was resting on his forehead, was wet.

When they separated from the hug, he decided it had been the two of them.

.

"What do ya' think?" Koutarou asked nervously once Keiji had finished his inspection of the apartment.

"I'm impressed by the fact that this doesn't look like a war zone," the editor declared, smiling, "and by the fact that you've managed to have a bigger mess of books than me."

Koutarou laughed somewhat embarrassed.

"When I missed you too much, I tried to read one of the books you left," he admitted, turning to see the room, which had books in every possible place. "I managed to finish two. Come on don't make that face! You know I can read!" he exclaimed when he saw his boyfriend's surprised face.

"Of course I know you can read, but I was surprised that you tried to read something on your own," the minor muttered smirking. "I'll need to bring my bookshelf,” he declared looking at the empty bookshelf in the room.

"Of course! Where do you think it will be better to have it? Here in the living room? Or in the spare room?" Koutarou asked smiling at the idea that soon Keiji would return to live to their apartment.

"I was thinking that we could turn the spare room into a studio," Keiji muttered, looking down. "I will try not to do it more than necessary, but I will need a place to work."

Koutarou smirked.

"I told you that a big apartment was a good idea."

The laugh Keiji let out was music to his ears.

"You're right," accepted the raven, sitting on the couch, being followed by Koutarou, who wasted no time and wrapped Keiji in a tight hug.

"So now you work more than before," he asked as he inhalated Keiji's scent, trying to make up for all the time that he couldn't. "Do you at least enjoy it more?"

The young man with sea-colored eyes nodded.

"I get really tired, but it's really ... satisfying."

Koutarou smirked before sinking his nose into Keiji's soft hair.

"I'm glad about that."

"Thank you."

They were silent for a few minutes, before Koutarou spoke again.

"You've let your hair grow," he murmured, letting go of the boy a bit, curling his index finger on one of the dark locks of the young man in his arms.

"The place where I used to cut it was far away, so I delayed my visits until it couldn't stand my hair anymore," Keiji explained. "Soon I will be able to cut it with the regularity of before,” he muttered.

"No! Leave it at that! I love it!"

Keiji's laugh was definitely music to his ears.

"I don't always style it like this, Kou, I usually use clips to keep it away from my forehead and eyes when I want to read or I'm working," he said while trying to keep his bangs out of his forehead, without success.

"I'll buy you all the clips you need! Just don't cut it shorter than this!"

Keiji laughed again, making Koutarou hug him tighter.

He definitely loved Keiji's laugh.

.

How many attempts were needed to make Keiji to give in and they started kissing?

Exactly ... one.

Without expecting it, Koutarou's lips met his, causing him to stop laughing.

And Keiji happily accepted the kiss, wishing it would last more than just a moment.

And apparently Koutarou wished the same, because instead of pulling away, he ended up on top of him, making the black-haired man lie on the couch, without the need for their lips to stop pressing against the other's. He felt the space next to his neck sink a little under the hand that Koutarou had placed there, while the other hand of the golden-eyed boy began to caress his side.

"Kou..." Keiji sighed once they pull apart.

"I missed doing that so much," Koutarou muttered before kissing him again.

It didn't take him long to part his lips, letting Koutarou take control and devour him, thinking that this time he would allow it without giving any kind of battle. He felt a hand go under his shirt, giving him goosebumps and making him moan a little.

"Don't you miss our bed?" Asked the volleyball player, letting his hand caress his back.

Keiji smirked before putting his hands on the volleyball player's chest and pushing him so that he was leaning back. As soon as he could, the black-haired man straddled Koutarou's lap, dedicating himself into kissing his neck immediately.

"I forgot how the leather of the couch feels against my skin," he whispered at his ear. "Can you help me remember that?"

The next second, Koutarou was removing his shirt with much less care than he should have, although Keiji couldn't find enough sanity to be bothered by it.

.

"Is it the last one?" Koutarou asked as he carefully placed the box on the ground.

"Yes."

"I don't remember that ya' have taken so many things when you left."

Keiji rolled heis eyes, smiling upon hearing that comment from his boyfriend for the fifth time.

His boyfriend.

That day he was going to start living with Bokuto Koutarou again.

"When I left, I only took a suitcase with clothes and my laptop," Keiji replied, beginning to check the contents of the boxes that were in the hall. "And I came back for the rest of my stuff with Kenma and Onaga-kun while you were at your last training with the Elephants. Although there weren't too many things, most of what I took with me were my books."

"And in this year you managed to buy even more books," Koutarou said amused.

"Reading made me feel a little less lonely," the editor murmured, more to himself than to Koutarou.

"Me too," said the boy with the golden eyes, sitting next to him on the floor.

Keiji smirked.

"But I did manage to read more than two books in that time."

It didn't take long to Koutarou to start complaining.

After a few minutes, Keiji's phone started ringing. The raven began to search for it around him, without success, which made him frown, after all the phone seemed to be nearby. The answer came to him when Koutarou's hand appeared in front of his face, holding out his phone to him.

"Thank you. Kenma?" He replied when he saw the name of the contact.

"I was calling to see how the moving was going."

"Slow, Kou doesn't stop complaining about the amount of boxes we had to carry."

"Do you need to finish setting everything up today?" Asked the voice at the other end of the line.

"Not really." Keiji looked around, deciding that no, they didn't really need to finish unpacking that day. if he was completely honest, he doubted that they would be able to finish settimg up everything in one day.

"Kuroo and I are going to have dinner at a new restaurant, would you like to join us?" Keiji smiled upon hearing a certain degree of emotion in the voice of his friend." You know, just like the old days."

"Do you want have dinner with Kuroo-san and Kenma? They're going to a new restaurant,” Keiji asked his boyfriend, who nodded immediately. "Sure, what is the occasion?" He asked without having any real interest in the question.

"Your birthday," Kenma replied immediately.

"Oh," Keiji answered eloquently, turning to see Koutarou.

"Kuroo suggested we celebrate it today, because he doesn't think Bokuto is going to let you spend the day with someone other than him tomorrow," explained the young man at the other end of the line, with his usual monotonous voice, but in which Keiji managed detect a certain tinge of mockery. "I also doubt it." Keiji blushed at his friend's comment, remaining silent for a few moments thinking about what to reply to his friend. "I'll send you the address."

Before he could talk, the call ended.

"So what is the occasion?"

"My birthday."

"Perfect, that means that tomorrow I will have you all for myself" declared the athlete smiling with a certain air of malice that Keiji knew perfectly.

Moments later Keiji's phone lit up at the newly received mail. Deciding that checking the restaurant's address was the best way to ignore his boyfriend's smirk, he narrowed his eyes trying to make out the letters in the addresses. It wasn't far, they would only need to take the one train for about fifteen minutes.

"Keiji," his boyfriend's voice pulled him out of his thoughts, it sounded unusually serious, "I'm sorry to tell you this, but I think you definitely need glasses." 

.

"Are you sure you want to spend your birthday like this? We could stay at the apartment and order take out..."

"I thought this was my birthday, not yours, Kou," Keiji interrupted taking his boyfriend's uniform jacket. He smiled when Koutarou's scent filled his senses, feeling how the heavy fabric seemed to hug him and seening that on the back the jacket had "Bokuto" written on top a number twelve.

"Come on, don't pretend that you wouldn't like to spend the whole day in the room," said the older man hugging him from behind. "It looks good on you, ”he added, smiling at their reflection.

Keiji smirked before turning around and wrapping his arms around Koutarou's neck.

"Going out to get me glasses does not mean that we are not going to spend the afternoon in the room" he whispered before placing a kiss very close to his boyfriend's lips. "You said you would help me find a pair glasses, right?"

Koutarou smiled before wrapping his arms around Keiji's waist again, pressing him against him.

Koutarou's lips captured Keiji's, causing him to instinctively part his lips, letting his boyfriend's tongue explore his mouth. He tried to do the same with his own tongue, but Koutarou prevented him from doing that, making it clear that this time, again, he was the one in control.

When they finally pulled away, Keiji tried to regain his cool, being somewhat difficult as Koutarou's lips started pressing against his neck.

"K-Kou ..." he moaned helplessly when Koutarou bit his neck.

Judging by the pain he had felt, he was sure that for a few days his boyfriend's teeth would be marked on his skin.

"I think we'll leave a little later than you thought, does it bother you?"

Keiji smiled before shaking his head and letting Koutarou's lips capture his, while athlete's hands settled on his ass and then lifted him up like so many times before. Keiji let his legs wrap around Koutarou's hips as he carried him to the bed, where he dropped him down without much care.

"Kou! Be careful!"

"Come on, you can't say you don't like it rough," the older boy laughed as he took off his jacket, "if I remember correctly, sometimes someone begged me to chocke him harder" he muttered as he placed a hand on Keiji's neck, barely pressing it.

"Kou ... you said we would go buy my glasses," Keiji said under his breath, closing his eyes, enjoying the pressure of Koutarou's hand on his neck.

"Okay, okay, let's do this quickly," Koutarou said before leaning down to suck hard on Keiji's neck, leaving a striking red mark a inch below his ear. Keiji rolled his eyes knowing perfectly what his boyfriend had done, but before he had a chance to protest about the brand new hickey that would be impossible to hide, Koutarou's teeth sank into his skin again, making him moan. "We will do it without hurries at night."

.

"I still can't believe you did this to me," Keiji whispered, adjusting his scarf so that it wouldn't reveal the new series of bruises that covered his neck. "Do you know I have to go to work on Monday? Momoi-san won't stop talking about this,” he muttered clearly mortified.

Koutarou smiled in amusement when he saw the concern on his boyfriend's face.

"Come on, they look good on you," he said lowering the editor's scarf a bit, to which he responded by opening his eyes wide before putting the scarf back in place.

"Stop doing that, Kou."

"Come on, a lot of people would love to have them so they could show them off..."

"I'd rather not have them," the editor muttered, focusing his eyes on the bar that his hand was holding to keep his balance.

Koutarou smiled before bringing his lips closer to Keiji's ear.

"A while ago you were so pliant, you didn't do anything to prevent me from marking you, Keiji," he said, laughing as he saw how his boyfriend's neck and ears were slightly flushed, making it obvious that he was remembering their previous activities.

The voice from the train speaker told them that they were getting to their station.

"Come on! I already want to see you wearing glasses!'' Koutarou exclaimed as he took Keiji's hand and pulled him out of the wagon.

"Even if I find some glasses that I like today, I probably won't have them with me for a few days," Keiji said running trying to keep up with Koutarou. Keiji was able to do it for a few minutes, until he began to try to slip his had from the volleyball player's grip. "St...S-Stop! W-Wait!"

The gray haired boy frowned as Keiji took a deep breath, trying to catch his breath.

"Keiji, this can't be real... a year ago ya' could keep up with me longer."

"A year ago I went to the gym with you."

"Tomorrow we will go to the gym," Koutarou declared crossing his arms.

"Tomorrow is Sunday!" He exclaimed obviously horrified at the idea of spending his Sunday at the gym.

"It's the perfect day to start! It will be emptier! Can you still wear your old sportswear?"

"Of course! I'm not that out of shape!” Keiji's hands flew to his middle, in an attempt to touch it through the thick fabric of Koutarou's jacket.

Koutarou laughted before continuing their walk towards the optical store they had previously searched for online, followed by a clearly offended birthday boy.

.

He opened his eyes trying to identify his surroundings, it didn't take him long to be aware that he was in his living room, lying on the couch. In front of him the TV broadcasted a British show about Jack the Ripper, he was sure of that because he had tried to watch it a few times in the previous months, always getting bored within the first minutes of the episode. He turned his head a little, and noticed that a little ray of the moonlight managed to filter through the windows, and noticed that the curtains weren't completely close off.

He smiled when he saw the young man who was asleep in his arms.

He smiled when he saw that his hair curled slightly at the ends and noticed that a few messy locks covered the boy's forehead.

He smiled when he saw the half-unpacked boxes on the hall floor.

He smiled when he saw the old bookshelf of the room, which after months of been empty was full of books.

He smiled when he saw the hickeys on the exposed side of Keiji's neck, knowing that Keiji probably wouldn't let him do them again for a while.

He smiled when he saw sea-colored eyes, that returned his gaze without really focusing, being clouded by sleep.

"K-Kou..."

"Let's go to bed, it's late" whispered the one with the golden eyes buring his nose into the editor's hair.

"I don't wanna to walk," Keiji muttered, clearly fighting the fact that he was starting to wake up.

"I'll carry you," he whispered before passing one of his arms under the back of Keiji's knees and placing the other on his back, so he could get up from the couch with his boyfriend in his arms.

And as he walked to their room, he smiled as he felt the warmth of having Akaashi Keiji with him again, promising himself that he would never let that warmth leave him again.

"I'm sooo tired," Keiji muttered draging the o's, snapping him out of his thoughts, once they were in the room.

"You promised me that we would do it without hurries tonight," Koutarou replied teasing the sleepy man, making Keiji close his eyes tightly.

"Morning..." Koutarou knew that voice, it was the voice that the raven used when he was so sleepy that he didn't mind making a scene.

He closed his eyes and chuckled before carefully lowering him onto the left side of the bed.

"Take that off, I'll help you put on your PJs."

"Can I wear your red hoodie? I miss using it to sleep," said the younger one with a drawl as he took off his shirt.

The gray haired man smiled taking the hoodie he had worn that first night when he tried to remember Keiji's scent.

"Why don't we just say it's yours? You used it more than me anyway” said Koutarou, handing him the garment.

Keiji shrugged.

"I like wearing your clothes."

Koutarou smirked as he watched his boyfriend wrestle with the sleeves of the hoodie.

"I love you, Keiji."

Sea-colored eyes, still clouded by sleep, fixed on his eyes.

"I love you, Kou."

And to Koutarou's amusement, the fight against the red hoodie continued.

He loved having Keiji back in his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pne of my headcannons is that Akaashi is always tired because of his job, so when he get's a little too sleepy or tired he stops caring and acts like a child (a kinda bratty one)
> 
> So... yes... I finished this story.. again.. as always feel free to leave kudos and/or comment telling me what did you think of this story, did you had any issue with it? Did you like it? Can I improve it in some way? 
> 
> But yeah... sincerily, thanks for getting this far, I really hope I made someone smile with this ❤

**Author's Note:**

> Well, I think I'm not that bad at translation... hopefully you enjoy it!!  
> Kudos, comments (suggestions, opinions, questions) are appreciated!  
> Love ya'! ♥


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